What's a girl gotta do.......

Things have changed in the world of dating and singletons. Even the world of marrieds come to think of it. And not just a little bit. They've gone full circle, flipped on their heads and landed belly side up. At least they did when i left my husband eighteen months ago. I'm thinking of it as the contemporary take on a midlife crisis. You turn thirty-something and damn it gets messy. What ever happened to it being about flashy cars, younger models and boob lifts? That would be easy, that i could do. Now it's dating sites, botox and text stalking. This is real life poker and the stakes are high. There are exes to consider, children to raise, bills to pay. Where in the hell is there time for anything else? I'm busy dreaming about the days of carefree living. You remember those, right? Nothing better to do with your time but drink too much, sleep in, talk about boys and then, do it all over again. Now somewhere in there i managed to slip in uni essays and work but really, all my energy was focused on dragging my then tight ass out of bed for a drive thru and another packet of cigarettes. Flash forward four years and i was married, a mummy, nicotine free and in hot persuit of the dream. Don't go rolling you eyes now, we all look for the dream. That blue sky backdrop, the perfect-for-me man casting a shadow over you as he snuggles your babies and hands you a cocktail. (This guy also notices when you're sick, empties the bins and knows how to cook beans on toast). Wham forward another eight years and there i am standing in the door way handing my soon to be ex husband a box full of his things and watching the tail lights leave the drive, the red a blur of everything i feel just bursting into focus. What happens now? There are three little girls to be raised, a handful of friends to be talked to and a career to work out. Oh yeah, and i forgot - a new bloody life to drag up!

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