Something has happened in the world of dating while I’ve been away. Something BIG. It’s called ‘sexting’. It’s not that I’m at all prudish – I mean, come on, you read the blog, right – or that I’m in denial, but when my phone lit up like Christmas a few weeks into dating a new guy, I had to ask myself, is this normal? I even asked my friends. Well that went well, I got simultaneously laughed at and then looked upon with an expression that I can only say reminds me of the face my mother pulled when I queried the benefits of upgrading their Amazon package. That sort of alarmed shock at my lack of knowledge, closely followed by pity. Thankfully I take these looks well or I may have found myself embarrassed. This new (or not so new) phenomena is rife in the dating world. Maybe not so much with the over fifties and certainly not with the slightly prudish but everyone beyond that is getting busy, getting darn right dirty with their word play. Is it that before people jump into bed, they now fall into the sauce pot of suggestion first – is sexting the newest form of titillating your partner?
Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m a little behind, I was married for nearly a decade. A decade guys, give me a chance to catch up. Well boy does a lot change in ten years. There I was thinking sexy chat was for the comfort of a loving relationship. The sort of thing used to get them to pull a sicky and knock down your door or convince them that apart from scavenging for food, there was never any reason to leave the bedroom. It seems not. Forget working your way around to some naughty chat in the bedroom, the kind of thing that in your late teens, early twenties made your toes curl with embarrassment. Noooooo, things have moved far and beyond that now. This is the no holes barred generation, what would you expect? The likes of what is being sent between phones is enough to send your grandmother to an early grave and your mother into massive shock. Either people are much happier to express their sexuality, or fifty shades of grey did more than get people talking, it whet the appetite for accessible porn.
It starts early and heats its way up while you’re still in first base. This is where hands start moving before you’ve even touched each other. Who would have thought a little suggestion could be so exciting. Who ever imagined there was so much fun in the unexplored. Here you have this fresh, budding, new relationship and WHAM before you know it you’re whirl winded weeks, maybe months down the road with exactly what’s ahead of you. And don’t be naïve enough to think it’s nothing but a little taster of what’s to come. It can mean so much more than that. Sexting can be game play at the dirtiest (forgive the pun) level. This is where some ladies sort the men from the boys. What better way to find out what gets the blood racing? What makes them weak at the knees? But screw that, let’s see what he thinks makes a woman tick. Does he know all the buttons and how to push them. If it seems not, he’s about to find out, in slow, teasing vibrations while he sits in his morning meeting. Or next to a stranger on the train. This is the power of sexting bringing relationship highs to a whole new level. Naughty play has never been so exciting, or so easy. And exactly who is at it? Is it the smirking mummy texting in the playground, or the man grinning gleefully at his ipad in the café? Because it’s not just for the newcomers. It seems old marrieds are at it too.