Opposite sex friends - friend or foe?

Women love men. Men love women. So why is it that opposite sex friends ruffle so many feathers?

I have always been the kind of woman that likes men, I wouldn’t say that I prefer their company over a girls, but I couldn’t say that I don’t either, I most certainly like them. There is just something about hanging out with a man that is so easy, so care free. There’s never a drama. They aren’t worrying about rivalry or preening. They think very little about clothes and who’s doing what with their lives at that particular moment on that particular day. They just exist in a different energy to women; that is why I have always had a male best friend.

I am the female friend standing on the other side of the fence to the girlfriend. Until now.

Suddenly the shoe is very much on the other foot. I am alarmingly aware that none of the men I have dated prior to now have ever had a female friend. In fact, the only women in their lives were sisters, mothers, grannies and me. There were no single hot females vying for his attention.

I was the one with cool male friends, we had dinner, went for drinks, ran out to the movies and why not? If a boyfriend complained, I told him not to be so silly. A friend is a friend, boy or girl. When they got a girlfriend, very little changed. If I was single, nothing changed at all, if I wasn’t, I saw him less because I had other distractions. Did I see why he’d shrug away and say apologetically that his girlfriend was freaking out? No, I laughed and told him he should bring her along. Did it occur to me that maybe I was a threat, that I intimidated the woman with my knowledge about what made him tick, when we laughed at old jokes and past horrors, that we shared beds, knew what to order each other from the take away and what wine to bring over…..did any of this occur to me. Of course not. Well now it does.

I’m dating a man that has women coming out of his pockets. They love him like a boyfriend without the sex. They talk to him like a brother. Fool around with him like a boy. They are doing precisely everything I used to do. It’s like revenge of the ex girlfriends. Every woman I ever scorned dragged back to torture me. I am not a high maintenance woman but I do not like to share. It’s like being an only child; you’ve never had to share so you know no different. But those children need to learn. And this they do quickly, as soon as they’re punched in the jaw for being spoilt or fussy. I am not an only child so know a lot about sharing. What does this mean in the friend or foe stakes? It means I’m biting my lip and handing him over. He is their play thing too and I can’t be unfair. Just as he hands me over to the men in my life without the slightest hesitation. I respect him for this and so, I return the favor.

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