Sex is so often as much about the story as it is about the sex. That’s no bad thing really, the best sex is worth talking about but here, in Northern Ireland, just how many people are having sex worth talking about?
You’d be surprised.
And what they get up to would surprise you even more.
I was coffeeing with Jess just last week. She and her boyfriend were just back from a kid free weekend in Manchester. Taking grown-up adults out of their daily lives and giving them a 48hr window can do crazy things to people. It’s like taking a forty year old and dropping them back into their twenties for just one night. Suddenly the veil has been lifted and the world is a fresh new place to be experienced. And experience it they did. It was a no holes bared, pit stop of wild sex and alluring circumstances. I’m sipping my green tea, envisaging lush hotel rooms and bottles of bubbly, when she starts talking about unisex toilets and getting down and dirty in the cubicle.
‘I mean, right there in the toilet, people banging on the door. Amazing!’
And it would be, wouldn’t it, because let’s be honest, there’s nothing like a thrill to heat things up.
‘We were drunk,’ she shrugged, with a flick of her hand, ‘before I knew it he had me pinned against the wall. It must have been the dress.’
So I sat there hinged with interest, not about where people have sex. But why? It didn’t take much working out.
It wasn’t the dress.
And she knew it. Not only that, she knew that I knew it too, so I pushed her. I pushed until she said what we were both already thinking – it was the risk. It is always about the risk.
Then Leah swooped in and just like that, as though we were talking about where’s good for drinks she says blandly, ‘Oh, outside. Every time. It has to be somewhere with people close by.’
I’ll admit I like a little bit of risk every now and then. We all do. That’s why Jess loves doing it over hot car bonnets in public car parks. Izzy walked the Giants Causeway and got a little more exercise than she anticipated and Chrissy likes roadside beach coves. Everyone is attracted to risk, it’s human nature and often the more you toy with it, the more it seduces you. Sex may be a physical thing but it’s often the crazy, mindless fun of it that makes it memorable. The story you tell, is the mark it’s left.