Women have this thing we do. You may have noticed. We like to win. And not just win. Things could never be that straightforward, not when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. We like to win, and then we set them free. That is code for – we get our way (with subtle hints or obvious grumps) and then we don’t actually want it. The objective was to see that they would change their mind. That they considered us and our feelings enough to be willing to. And then, once the objective is met, we’re quite happy to go on our merry way and let him go on his. Complicated, I know. Perhaps even a tad childish but each and every one of us is guilty of it. Yes, we women are complex creatures. Like brail to the sighted, we are a law unto ourselves.
It starts off with a man hinting that he may want to go out, when we want him stay in. Or him implying that he’d like to do his own thing, when we want to do something together. Add kids to the mix and things get even messier. It could be anything from him wanting to go away on a stag do, leaving you playing mummy, to an afternoon playing golf when you had planned to go shopping with a friend. Like a child – we must win.
I see this in every woman I know. I have seen it since I was a teenager and I see it as much, if not more, now. It’s not so much on purpose as it is an inbuilt need for control, even on the tiniest, most subconscious level.
This is the thing, women like a powerful man. They like to know he’s there when their back’s against the wall, that he can throw you into a fireman’s lift, a child under each arm and still have room to grab the dog if needs be. That he’ll put food on the table and chop the firewood. But we also want to see that he won’t be all hunter-gatherer He Man with us, but that even when he doesn’t want to, he will put us first. Yes, women like to do this a lot.
Does it make us crazy? Probably a little. But we do it because we like to know that we have the power to make him change his mind. That with a little manipulation and cunning, we can get him to put our needs before his, because for women, that’s where the love is. That’s where we feel cared for and wanted. Suddenly we are priority.
But the second they agree…..
Him - ‘Yes, I think you’re right, we should just stay in tonight.’ What do we say – Her - ‘No, of course not, we’ll go out.’ Him - ‘I don’t think I should go away on that stag do sweetie, not unless you’re going to take a few days away in exchange.’ Her – ‘No, you should definitely go, I was wrong to be annoyed about it.’ Him - ‘Golf? No, I can do that some other time, you go and enjoy some time with your friends.’ Her – ‘Awh, thank you, but it’s ok. You play golf and I’ll go with the girls next week.’
And we mean every word of it.
It’s all smiles, joy and inside, the winning us is having a party.
Why do women do this? Because no matter how strong the man, or how much control we may let him have, it comes down to a very basic need to feel he cares enough to make us happy. Once we see that, we in return are very happy to let him have his merry way.